Wynonna Earp Recap: Bury Me With My Guns On, A Smart Final Wish In Purgatory

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Awkward date story: Things are on the brink of getting serious/naked when all of the sudden the guy feels an agonizing pain in his heart and realizes ‘Oh shiiiii— it’s that witch that threw me down a well after granting me immortality and binding me to her forever! She’s nearby!’ And he’s left with no choice but to do up his pants and go get his revenge. Thank god Tinder doesn’t have the same kind of rating system Uber has. Not that Doc uses Tinder. Although he may have to start after he pulled a gun on Wynonna in this week’s episode.

Post-Waverly skull-smash, Constance Cootie made the tough choice to reassemble just one of her dead sons. The result was… disappointing. And short-lived. Then, on her way out of the triangle, she gets caught by both Bobo and Doc. Perhaps she’s not as powerful a witch as she thinks she is.

Maybe it’s that Wynonna failed her psych assessment earlier that day, or maybe it’s because Constance interrupted her fun with Doc—whatever the reason, Wynonna is not feeling charitable towards Cootie, despite the fact that the woman just lost her hideous son-thing in a ball of Bobo fire. Doc wants to kill Constance for what he did to her, but the ties that bind them mean he’d likely die, too. Wynonna was a better (meaner) idea: take the witch out to the salt pan and bury her up to her neck (because salt renders witches powerless—tuck that tip under your cowboy hat for future use).

Witch disposed of (and new information about the Earp curse uncovered), Wynonna heads back to the office in time for Dolls to tell her that he faked a new assessment on her behalf and got her reinstated. Aw. It’s like the Black Badge Division’s version of an apology bouquet.

Waverly gets something too: a big fat cheque from her aunt Gus, who sold the bar on the condition that it never be torn down. The money means freedom for Waverly (to keep making out with Officer Haught, if that’s what she wants).

Oh, and in case you were wondering why Bobo let Doc and Wynonna take off with Cootie with much less fuss than you’d expect, it’s because he was about to do something far worse than simply shoot one of them.

Real estate deals can be very time consuming—it’s hard to start a gun battle with an Earp when you’re busy buying the family’s beloved bar out from under them. Wynonna’s uncle hid the skull of Cootie’s son in that bar… is there something else hidden there? Like, something that could hurt Wynonna?